Imposter Syndrome.

If you have never felt Imposter Syndrome, I can best describe it as being quite similar to the feeling that you get when you are leaving a store, but have not purchased anything. You know the feeling. It makes you nervous, you keep telling yourself to act normal, and you want to turn around and yell "I'M NOT STEALING ANYTHING. Y'ALL JUST DIDN'T HAVE ANYTHING I WANTED TO BUY. I'M NOT A CRIMINAL." You know that you haven't stolen anything, but you fear that people are giving you sideward glances and must assume that you are shoplifting.

That is how it feels to have Imposter Syndrome. It is this omnipresent feeling that someone is going to call you out and let everyone know that you are a fake and you don't belong. This feeling is most readily associated with women in the workplace- something that I totally understand and feel regularly as one of the few women in my field. However, I think that Imposter Syndrome is often felt by people who struggle with mental illness. 

One of the things I hear most often when talking about anxiety, depression, and the like is that people are afraid their feelings won't be taken seriously. Sound familiar? Imposter Syndrome within in context of mental illness can cause us to keep how we feel to ourselves, to downplay our struggles, and avoid seeking help. A loop starts to play in our heads: "maybe I'm not depressed, maybe I'm just being dramatic, maybe my feelings aren't as bad as other peoples, maybe I won't be taken seriously." I have often found myself getting sucked into this thought pattern. There is this fear that my depression and anxiety is a figment of my imagination. 

But I know it is not. My feelings and your feelings are valid. They are real. Imposter Syndrome distorts reality- whether it makes you feel like you aren't good enough to be doing something or it makes you believe that you're a fraud or your feelings aren't real. The first step in combatting Imposter Syndrome is acknowledging it is there. Only then can you start to work on validating your feelings and constructing YOUR reality. 

You is smart. You is kind. You is not an imposter.