Grab a Shovel.

Today, I woke with a sense of urgency. The world is changing around us- will we move towards the light of progress or let the hatred, bigotry, and systematic oppression keep us in the dark? The last few months have been wrought with fear mongering, violence, and malicious actions. It is time to make a change. Recently, I have become obsessed with the Broadway show Hamilton and have memorized the ENTIRE cast recording. There is one line that has resonated with me so deeply in the last few weeks- "we in the shit now, somebody gotta shovel it!' The world has been turned upside down- Brexit, Trump's presidential candidacy, multiple mass shooting, acts of terrorism around the world. Normally, surrounded by so much negativity, I would feel a depressive episode pulling at the edges of my mind. But not now.

It is time to take the frustration, anger, depression, anxiety, and fear and change it into power, into movement. I am on fire, burning through these emotions. Grab a shovel, it is time to get to work.

*Yes, that is a picture of me waist deep in mud, questioning every life choice I had made to bring me to that moment in my life.

3-Fold Truths.

Sometimes a routine eye doctors appointment can lead to the worst of anxiety- this is my story about how a quest for new glasses turned into a fear of blindness. Thank you for any good vibes you can send.

PS- Sorry about the rude puppy and growling in the background. Minnie sometimes feeds off my anxiety and can get a little rowdy... but that is for another post.

Meet Minnie.

"Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep."-Scott Adams

The day before I was leaving the state for a business trip, the woman who has been my rock since I moved to South Carolina (hi Liz) came into my office with the cutest, sweetest little puppy in the entire world. As soon as I laid eyes on her, I started to cry. I knew that this little runt of a pup was going to be mine.

I immediately rushed with my friend to see the co-director of the local Humane Society that was fostering Minnie. I would have done ANYTHING to adopt Minnie, but it was as simple as filling out an application and promising to make Minnie's foster parents her permanent god-pup-parents. Imagine Kristen Bell's sloth meltdown (Google it). That was me when I got the word that Minnie was mine- ugly crying all around.

Our First Picture Together

Minnie is my first puppy. I have been a cat mom for almost 7 years now- raising a puppy would be easy, right? ABSOLUTELY FREAKING NOT. From peeing on the carpet, to biting everything in sight, to chasing the cat around, to jumping on furniture, to scratching people. EVERYTHING WAS HARD.

Days after I adopted Minnie, my (amazing, adoring, wonderful) boyfriend sat me down and told me that he thought getting Minnie was a mistake. As I sobbed hysterically and asked him if he wanted me to give her back, he calmly explained that he would never ask me to give her back and this conversation wasn't meant to make me feel bad. Instead, he was simply pointing out a lesson that he had recognized early on, but I had not yet fully grasped.

Minnie is my perfect mistake. Was I impulsive in adopting her? Yes. Did I get in WAY over my head? Absolutely. Is she one of the best things to ever happen to me? Hell yeah. Minnie has taught me selflessness and responsibility, and has inadvertently become my greatest therapy. I can't let myself stay in bed for hours. Minnie needs to go potty or needs breakfast. I can't let my anxiety take over. Minnie feeds off my anxiety which leads to a very stressed pup.

Now I am not advocating that everyone who is struggling with a mental illness go get a puppy and that everything will magically get better. See my previous blog about Addycat for reference. I was in the right time of my life with the proper financial stability, a network of people to help me, and the dedication to take care of, train, and love Minnie. Even with all of the logical factors in place, adopting Minnie has been one of the biggest challenges I have taken on thus far...

and I wouldn't change a damn thing.