Sometimes a routine eye doctors appointment can lead to the worst of anxiety- this is my story about how a quest for new glasses turned into a fear of blindness. Thank you for any good vibes you can send.
PS- Sorry about the rude puppy and growling in the background. Minnie sometimes feeds off my anxiety and can get a little rowdy... but that is for another post.
I recorded this video a couple of weeks ago, but wasn't sure if the message was one that truly needed to be heard. I am going on a little hiatus for a little while as I travel to Indy to facilitate a retreat for the next week. As I have been preparing for the retreat, I have gotten increasingly more nervous- what if the participants don't like me? What if I screw this up? Fear is the only thing standing in the way of happiness, health, life, etc. Non timebo mala. You may need to turn up the volume a little on this one- sleeplessness leads to mumbly videos.
PS- Shout out to Becky Provost from Arty Party Augusta for my amazing henna tattoo and the brilliant Heather Low for my beautiful "Non Timebo Mala" artwork <3
Happy Mental Health Awareness Month! Lets spread the word to stop the stigma around mental health. What are you going to do to challenge yourself this month?
"Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep."-Scott Adams
The day before I was leaving the state for a business trip, the woman who has been my rock since I moved to South Carolina (hi Liz) came into my office with the cutest, sweetest little puppy in the entire world. As soon as I laid eyes on her, I started to cry. I knew that this little runt of a pup was going to be mine.
I immediately rushed with my friend to see the co-director of the local Humane Society that was fostering Minnie. I would have done ANYTHING to adopt Minnie, but it was as simple as filling out an application and promising to make Minnie's foster parents her permanent god-pup-parents. Imagine Kristen Bell's sloth meltdown (Google it). That was me when I got the word that Minnie was mine- ugly crying all around.
Our First Picture Together
Minnie is my first puppy. I have been a cat mom for almost 7 years now- raising a puppy would be easy, right? ABSOLUTELY FREAKING NOT. From peeing on the carpet, to biting everything in sight, to chasing the cat around, to jumping on furniture, to scratching people. EVERYTHING WAS HARD.
Days after I adopted Minnie, my (amazing, adoring, wonderful) boyfriend sat me down and told me that he thought getting Minnie was a mistake. As I sobbed hysterically and asked him if he wanted me to give her back, he calmly explained that he would never ask me to give her back and this conversation wasn't meant to make me feel bad. Instead, he was simply pointing out a lesson that he had recognized early on, but I had not yet fully grasped.
Minnie is my perfect mistake. Was I impulsive in adopting her? Yes. Did I get in WAY over my head? Absolutely. Is she one of the best things to ever happen to me? Hell yeah. Minnie has taught me selflessness and responsibility, and has inadvertently become my greatest therapy. I can't let myself stay in bed for hours. Minnie needs to go potty or needs breakfast. I can't let my anxiety take over. Minnie feeds off my anxiety which leads to a very stressed pup.
Now I am not advocating that everyone who is struggling with a mental illness go get a puppy and that everything will magically get better. See my previous blog about Addycat for reference. I was in the right time of my life with the proper financial stability, a network of people to help me, and the dedication to take care of, train, and love Minnie. Even with all of the logical factors in place, adopting Minnie has been one of the biggest challenges I have taken on thus far...
and I wouldn't change a damn thing.
Thank you so much to everyone for the outpouring of support after posting my first video blog yesterday- Minnie was super nervous to have her first debut on my blog and I was even more nervous to take this first step. My dream is to be able to inspire people through storytelling, to change the misconceptions surrounding mental illness, and to challenge others to find their courage to speak up. This project of mine- Curiosity, Courage, and Cake- feels like my first step to making that dream come true. I cannot say 'thank you' enough for the support and kind words. I'm really glad to have so many people be a part of this journey. Minnie is pretty excited about the whole thing too. She is already getting a big head from being featured in the video. Diva.
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